Reconnecting with family & friends before it’s too late!
It was two days ago that I was sitting on Facebook, reading my news feed and I noticed that not a lot of my actual friends were on there. I’m not the type of person who will look up someones names to go and look at their profile, I’ve missed something, I’m sure I will find out eventually but that sometimes might mean I will miss a lot. I seem to have let Facebook become the source of keeping ALL of my friends and family connected.
It makes is so hard when you are far away with family, so Facebook kind of becomes and invaluable resource, but when you abuse it, it really gets in the way. My fiance has family very close, we visit with his mom and sister quite frequently so if I didn’t have them on Facebook, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. They get to see my daughter grow and be a part of our lives, in person. Everyone else in my family though, live generally about an hour to two hours away. Although I have a vehicle, it’s not so easy for us to just pick up and head down there every weekend to visit each person in my family. My mom lives even further away. I feel bad for her because she doesn’t get to experience her grand-daughter such as Shaun’s mother does but there’s nothing we can do about it. We try and visit as much as possible. I’m sure the relationship with all of us would be much different if we lived closer.
Once I had my baby, the interactions with my friends changed quite a bit, such as they would when you have a new baby, but I think I took it to the extreme. I have pretty much all my friends on Facebook and when I was pregnant in the beginning, I was tired as hell so I never wanted to go out, I just wanted to sleep. That became a routine and I used Facebook to keep me posted with what was going in their lives, if they posted anything.
There were never any phone calls from my friends to me to see how I was dong or trying to connect over coffee or dinner nor was there on my part. I became lazy and I’m talking about even after my daughter had come into this world. I won’t use my baby being an excuse for me no longer hanging out with friends or visiting family. Don’t get me wrong, I visit family like my sisters and Shaun’s sister and mother but far more than I hang out with friends.
So it brings be back to Facebook. Along with me being lazy and thinking, “Oh, Facebook will keep me in touch with my friends and we’ll hang out once in a while here and there and everything will still be the same.” Well, it’s not the case. Everyone’s lives change but when you allow a social media outlet like Facebook to keep your friendships and family connected to your lives (and I’m talking about if you live close enough to go for coffee) than you’re asking for those relationships to dwindle and be a lot less important to the both of you. If you don’t put forth the effort to be in the lives of your friends and family, what do you expect to happen?
I see so many people posting things on Facebook and their friends and family say things such as, “Oh she is so big, has it really been that long that we last saw each other?” “Wow, we haven’t seen each other in ages, we should meet for coffee.” These are both classic examples of how we allow our “busy lives” and social media to ruin our friendships. Sure people are busy and in some cases people are too far away but this post is about those who are close. Close enough to spend a couple of hours every couple of months to hang out and reconnect.
So I’ve started to go through my Facebook to find the friends who I’ve had good relationships with before I got “lazy” and allowed Facebook to become the middleman and have sent out messages to meetup and reconnect. I want to be able to physically see my friends when I ask them how things are going and have that connection again.
It’s sad for my past friends who decided they no longer want to be friends because if you won’t want a relationship with me, they will never again be a part of the best part of me which is Kinsley. No sweat off my back. BUT I’m excited to rekindle those relationships that I still have, before it’s too late! My true friends and my family are too precious to lose.